Failed Automatic Update in Windows 10 Fall Creators Update for "Feature Update for version 1709"

As strange as the above sounds, after clean-installing version 1709 from my PC, I'm getting two updates. The ARM64 system security update (KB4043961) and a "feature update for version 1709".

I keep getting the 0x80d02002 error since yesterday for the update, and I know that other advice such as stopping and restarting services is not working for me. I also know that I shouldn't need a version 1709 feature update, so this just strikes me as odd all-around.

I know Windows is Windows, but if anyone has any ideas, please suggest!

I'm using an IBM Thinkpad x61, Intel T7300 Core Duo Pro processor, 1TB Hybrid SSD-Hard Drive, and 8GB RAM.

Bonus: I have English-US as my primary region and language all across the board (made sure of this by using the Region settings in Control Panel). I also have Japanese and Spanish keyboards. Until I right-clicked on the taskbar and enabled the "touch keyboard button" (*mine has been turned off), the emoji keyboard would not appear. After that, I could turn off the touch keyboard, and the emoji keyboard would still appear. Anyone know why that might be?

History: Before that, it was even stranger. I did an in-place update on my 1703 but it ended up not giving me any Windows Store Apps, including the ones usually built into the computer. This may have a lot to do with the way that the in-place upgrade renames your home folder from to , but I wasn't willing to mess around with this all and decided a clean install would be better.